Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Looking Back and Looking Ahead


Carson and his buddy, Greyson, who was also born with Spina Bifida
It's hard to believe that six months ago we we're still anxiously waiting to meet our baby. We had no idea if he would be born kicking his legs or experiencing paralysis. We didn't know how long we would be making trips to the NICU to visit our baby after his birth, or what types of surgeries to expect during the weeks following his birth. Will he need a shunt? Shunt revisions? Will we leave the hospital only to return shortly for UTI's or other infections? Will our lives ever return to a sense of normalcy? Will God answer our prayers?

Looking forward and anticipating the future still brings loads of questions and uncertainties but also a new sense of confidence and trust. God has shown us such mercy and compassion. I cannot even express what a blessing Carson is and how many milestones we have reached. Dealing with Carson's health issues is still the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, but I am reminded by looking back that God's plan for redemption has never failed us yet. I know that Carson's future is in God's hands and that his life is going to be a testimony of God's goodness amidst struggle.

Last week Carson had appointments with all of his specialists. Again, he is doing very well. So far he still has no need for a shunt. His urologist was pleased to see that Carson has avoided UTI's and infections and his hip X-ray lent good news from his Orthopedic doctor.

Unfortunately, Carson is showing signs of weakness in his right arm. His neurologist is concerned that it could be a symptom of a tethered cord and chiari malformation influencing his cerebellum which controls fine motor skills. Fixing this requires a tethered cord surgery. Carson's physical therapist believes that the weakness could simply be from an imbalance of muscles in his legs influencing his upper body and which arm he chooses to use. Obviously we're hoping that this can be resolved through physical therapy. Were keeping an eye on it for now. We'll also be visiting Carson's eye doctor again because his pediatrician wasn't pleased with how his eyes are doing. Also coming soon is a scheduled MRI so we can get an idea of what's going on inside our little guy.

After Carson's appointments I feel challenged in a new way. There are always going to be things to worry about but if I preoccupy my mind with worries then I will miss out on enjoying Carson's miraculous life fast-forwarding before my eyes.