Monday, August 15, 2011

Celebrating Crutches

Recently we finished our session at 1 Plus 1 Therapy and I couldn't be happier and prouder! As many of you know, when you find the right therapist for your child there is no feeling quite like it! It's like hitting a gold mine or winning the lottery. Not only does Carson love his therapist and the type of therapy, he is becoming more confident in his abilities and is physically progressing.
A few days ago, for the first time, he walked several feet on his own with his new forearm crutches. This is incredible progress considering that he only just started using the crutches 4 weeks ago!
It's extremely exciting to see Carson on the brink of a new milestone, and lately I'm trying my best to simply focus on the accomplishments instead of those darn phases of sadness. I celebrate seeing him take his first steps with his crutches but then moments later I'm sadly reminded that, for most kids, walking a few feet is effortless.
It's both exciting and tough. Sometimes you just cant control what your mind is going to conjure up. The negative thoughts have a way of creeping up. Sometimes I'll let the thoughts flow until I'm imagining him years later being left out of a game at school, being bullied because of his disability, or frustrated at his limitations. And at that point I realize I'm out of control!
Of course there are struggles ahead for Carson, but does it help to worry right now if he will have a date for his prom someday?
Having a child with spina bifida (and simply just becoming a mother) has created more worrying for me. But at the same time it has also taught me to be thankful. You have to learn to be thankful understanding that it's a choice or a state of mind. I'll probably always struggle with negative thoughts and worry, but whether I dwell on it or whether it's just a fleeting thought depends on me. Every day I have to make that choice. Will I let my mind become preoccupied with negativity or will I celebrate all the amazing abilities Carson does have? I'm constantly reminded that there are many things that are out of my control and thankfully in God's hands.
Over the past 2 years God has blessed us with lots of celebrations and so much to be thankful for! All of Carson's capabilities are a gift from God. And although the spina bifida diagnosis will continue to be challenging, today we are celebrating Carson just as he is.